I’m not sure what week it is. Does it matter? I get frustrated at times with this rebellious streak in me that just BUCKS every so often. And truthfully, lately much more so. And I haven’t decided yet if it needs to be fought and contained (aka, buckle down even more) or if it just needs to run its course to which I begin yet again. I’ve really alternated between the two, but more so than I’d like, subs seems to take over and it has its way with me before I get back to it. I’m really hoping it means I’m closer to resolving it all, like the last kick before subs gets with the program (aka, MY program)
But if I’m honest with myself, I know that’s not the case. A lifetime and generations of habitual behaviors, they need constant vigilance. Constant resetting. Constant reminders. I imagine this is another reason why a Mastermind is so important. Because in that moment, when you slip into old thought patterns or behavior, there’s someone to poke you and wake you up to what you are doing – to remind you of what you originally set out to do and to get back at it. There’s a lovely woman from MKMMA this past week who did just that and I’m grateful to have connected with her. Connecting with her light this week, I realize I really can’t do it on my own. (I hate that word, btw – I feel like I CAN, have done most things by myself,why not this too – this might be where my stubborn self falls down). Figuring things out is a lot different than changing habits long term. Clearly. That subconscious is strong in its ways. And anyway we can help each other is a blessing for us all. Especially when we are talking about something so important as doing your purpose and living your dreams.